


Jaehyun and his Doyoung

by certhia



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Shipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-08-08 18:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16434998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/certhia/pseuds/certhia
Summary: Warning: NOT a fanfic.A collection of my observations and speculations on Doyoung and Jaehyun's real life dynamics. Topic of debate: Dojae/Jaedo is real.





	1. Entry 1-10

**Author's Note:**

> It's a copy of my notes from my tumblr. Please visit it for quicker updates and further discussions.  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dojae-huh

**Let’s get it!**

Hello, fellow Dojae/Jaedo shippers~

First thing first. Considering the ship’s name. I usually call it Jaedo, as this variant is easier for me to pronounce, but I have used Dojae for the blog’s name seeing how this tag brings more results and hence is more popular on Tumblr. As you might guess, I don’t care at all who is “top” and who is ”bottom”. We will never know. It’s not our business anyway (and as most, they probably switch/will switch).

I’d like to have other terms instead of “ship” and “shipping” for the celebrity couples where I strongly suspect real feelings, but alas, I’m aware of none. I ship Dotae, I even read fanfics sometimes, they are so cute and endearing, yet between them, there is only intimate friendship. Dojae on the other hand… 

So yeah, I think Jaehyun and Doyoung are really dating (started this year) and I’ve opened this blog to write down my observations and speculations about them and their dynamics. I’ve become obsessed with the two and I just need to get it out of my system!

My analysis is based on body language, change of behaviour through time, divergence of what is said and what is done, type of relationships with other NCT members and other clues. I’m not a psychologist, but I did some research on animal behaviour, posses a very keen eye for details and read enough material on human neurophysiology and social behaviour to be sure enough in my observation results. I might doubt myself sometimes, but I’m not wearing pink goggles. 

As it takes time, I will not search for references, hoping that the reader has watched everything already or is able to look it up on their own. Forgive me for that. 

Now, with the accompaniment of shy “Dong Young-shi let’s get married-nim” on the background, let’s proceed to the facts. 

 

**Entry 1**

Kind of a preface.

I’m a noobie NCTzen. I saw a few of NCT’s MVs first time in April of 2018, quickly developed an interest and with “I’ve finally found myself a k-pop group to stan!!!” proceeded to follow. I’m glad I came into fandom with a delay, when the group gains real momentum and Jaedo is past their infamous divide. 

OK, so one day I was bored, I watched the Boss dance practice several times to judge every member, decided that I like that one guy in a baseball cap the most dancing skills wise and that that other guy with strangely stiff movements is also fun to watch and that I’ll start getting to know the NCT members from these two.

When you have two k-pop group members to get acquanted with, the quickest way is to watch ship-videos. Therefore I did. Boy, was I wrong. 

“I see, Jaehyun is gay and he has a crush on Doyoung.”, - my verdict after only three or four Jaedo videos. 

Jaehyun is that obvious.

I mean.

Have you seen the guy and the hearts in his eyes, when he looks at his “Doyoung-ie-hyung”?

Believe what you see.

…

Jung Yoon Oh, the Disney Prince of NCT…

Gays fall on the spectrum from “he is definetely gay” to “impossible to tell untill he says so himself or he is in the presence of his crush and does something he shouldn’t have”. Jaehyun is in the middle, closer to the left. He posseses that mannerism that is hard to describe, it lies in hand movements, shy facial expressions, inner submissiveness and other small details. Haechan looks and talks like ajumma, yet he has more masculinity in his pinky, than does Jae in his whole body. 

Yes, Jaehyun has strong stage presence, his poker face and stare make everybody ship Jaeyong, casting him as a seme, he is athletic and competitive, he is stubborn… and he can’t move Jungwoo an inch, when the latter decides to invade his bubble on one of group Vlives, he lacks that dominant bone. 

The mannerism that I’m talking about is different from soft gestures and femininity (in westerner’s eye) of, for example, Japanese traditional dance performer (if you know who Mansai Nomura is, you get the picture). It’s a shade of that exagarrated “open gay mannerism” that TV likes to portray. 

Ah, it’s hard to explain! My point is, Jaehyun’s body movements, lack of agressivness, readiness to imitate sexy female poses, red face when his looks are being praised, high 2D:4D ratio and such, made me suspect that he might be gay. What convinced me, is his crush on a boy. 

Cue the whiny tiny “Hyu-u-u-ung~~” from ShowChamp, uttered when Do accepted Jae’s HBD present.

 

**Entry 2**

I’ll go in no particular order with my observations. I like systematics, but there is beauty in disorder too.

Fun fact: Jae is very attuned to his Dong Young.

It is easy to notice when Taeyong or Johnny or sometimes Mark praise Doyoung. They are loud and declarative about it. JN fanboys rather often and TY is determined to let the world know what a wonderful person DY is (and remind other members that strong front or not, he also needs to be shovered with compliments to feed his self-esteem). Jae supports on the go, usually when everybody else is talking.

Examples:

* DY complains nobody listened to what he had to say. JH: “I listened, I listened!”.

* DY says something, but is not heard because another member has started loudly talking. JH: “Hyung, repeat again, repeat again”.

* Hosts of a show are wondering if DY’s calves are as large as of that famous person (a sportsman?). JH: “It should be close”.

* DY introduces himself. JH sings DY’s part from a new song. 

* Vroom-vroom show is mentioned. JH immidiently, with no exeption: “Vroom-vrooom!”

And of course Jae never misses an opportunity to tease or have a laugh.

* Yuta promts DY to dance. JH:”Show us, show us!”

* Haechan clowns DY about his lack of skills as a DJ. JH: “DJ-nim! DJ-nim!”

* A fan calls DY a prince on NCT’s Night Night! JH: “Wangiya-nim. Dong Young wangiya-nim!” 

* DY pretends to leave. JH waves: “Annyong~”

Speaking about laughing. Whatever Doyoung says or does is always very funny to Jaehyun. You hear that deep a bit hollow laugh on the backround? Yeah, Jae’s at it again. 

 

**Entry 3**

Scientific facts: 

\- People pay a lot of attention to face even if a person is naked. People are inherently good at reading facial expressions. Facial expressions for basic emotions are universal, we are born with them. 

\- People usually don’t look at strangers for more than a few seconds to not attract attention and be intrusive. Long stare is a sign of interest. 

\- People have set behaviours, “masks” or “roles” towards different individuals and follow them automatically. Once an intimate level is reached, a habit established, hierarchy determined, it’s hard to break the settings. The brain is lazy like that. Change of a habit requires energy expendeture, growing new synapses, building new neuron paths, sheathing them with myelin, and the brain loathes extra work. 

Fun fact: those heart eyes and special lovestruck dopy smile is only for Doyoung-hyung.

I watched many videos with NCT ships, that DY or JH are part of, to see if there is a difference in behaviour towards other close friends. There is. 

Jae can be smily, goofy or even flirty with others (with Ten), but with Doyoung he just melts on the spot. He really reminds me of a melted ice-cream whenever I see that particular “you are my moon and stars” expression on his face, when he starts to wobble his head and how his whole body turns into puddle of goo. 

Jae’s body language with other members is more assertive, sure, with some there is a line that is not allowed to be crossed. Bro-territory. Particulary he keeps Jungwoo at bay. 

By the way, how nobody is talking about the fact that after that famous Jaedo hug in Idol Room, Jae gave a pat on shoulder to Yuta and right after it touched Do’s butt? Where are shippers’ all seeing eyes at? It was a reassuring, it-was-just-a-game pat, but the body area it was applied to is not the body part you touch of somebody who is your hyung you pretend to be not very close nowadays with. 

Speaking of boundaries. Back in the day Jaehyun had the audacity to forget to add -hyung, when he introduced the members who sang “Without you” in one of the interviews. Doyoung was scandalised. 

Jaehyun also uses “hyung-ie” when he begs. As recent as this summer. The ShowChamp puppy dissapeared nowhere.

 

**Entry 4**

Scientific fact: 

\- “The increase of interpersonal body movement synchrony via interpersonal interaction can be a measurable basis of implicit social interaction”. I.e. the more you socially interact with somebody, the more your movements (footsteps, arm and finger movements, head movements) and body functions (heartbeat rate, skin conductance) become synchronized. One’s behavior passively and unintentionally changes to match that of the other/others. 

\- “Quietly sitting next to a partner is sufficient to generate synchrony, so it could be happening all the time without even talking”. When two look into each other’s eyes, the synchronization is achieved three times faster than when they sit back to back. 

\- “There are two main forms of synchrony: in-phase, where you behave in the same way as the other, like crossing the same leg as your friend does when you sit down on the couch; and anti-phase, where you take turns”.

\- “The deeper the bond you share with someone, the more your physiological arousal mirrors theirs”.

Fun fact: Jaedo synchronize on a regular basis.

And it’s one of the give-aways that off-camera they spend a lot of time together. 

Same goes to their habit of following each other and closing the gap. The brain upholds the “right” distance and sticks to the “right” person. Think of the time when you pick up a fruit from a plate. Your fingers widen just the right amount for different objects: a little bit to take a strawberry, very wide to grip a pomelo. And you never notice. 

So, Jae and Do try their hardest to not attract attention to themselves and stand on opposite ends in the room (or did, hurray the Regular-Irregular comeback and new-found confidence of Doyoung), but once they are near each other the heads turn in synch, suchi are eaten in synch, they finish each others sentences.

Note. Synchronization happens with friends and relatives too. The point is “don’t believe what is said, believe what is done”. The body doesn’t lie. Jaedo are very close, but don’t want the fans think they are. 

 

**Entry 5**

Body language lesson. Let's skip it. 

 

**Entry 6**

Remember when, during Dojaeil‘s Vlive

DY, looking at the phone, reading comments: I love you  
JH, looking into the camera: Hehe, me too *sends finger heart, gets shy*  
DY, still looking at the phone: Yees  
And remember when, during v-blog from America

DY shoots a video with his photocamera in a restaurant, focuses on JH  
JH notices, smiles, sends finger heart and looks down, shy  
If you think (pretending to think) they both were really sending their love to their fans, you are fooling yourself.

Listen.

When Doyoung talks to the fans, he actually makes eye contact with them via camera, adressing them “directly”, face to face. It draws attention to him and what he is about to say, it’s polite. The idols are trained to remember about the camera, seek it out on stage during perfomances. Not to mention, Doyoung is a seasoned MC. Pointing cameras to newbie idols is in his work description. When he accepts fans’ love he either denies the compliment or replies with gratitude. Either way he responds.

And Jaehyun is confident enough with fanservice to be cheesy and say stuff like “My lovers are here (the members) and here (on the other side of camera, fans)”. As part of his idol job he grabs his groin and thrusts his hips into direction of screaming schoolgirls that are just one meter away from him. And this guy is suddenly shy to send a finger heart? Ph-lease.

No, Jae is simply giddy from the joy of finally being able to play this game of secret “I love you”-s in public after (at least) three years of pining and throwing tantrums.

 

**Entry 7**

The game of shipping among the NCT members.

Tail-WinWIn-Yuta is the favourite topic on many interviews. 

Tail-Johnny need to get married. 

Jaehyun ships himself with Mark, being offended that he is “your ex now?”, complayning that Mark betrayed him for the new face Jungwoo.

Haechan ships himself with Jaehyun occasionaly, “we are one body”. 

Jungwoo ships himself almost with everybody.

However, nobody ships the MC-couple, the “they remind me of my parents”, the “they argue like an old married couple” Jaedo nowadays? What happened to “I’ll be your boyfriend”. - “I’m telling you it’s gaaay!”?

Hm, food for thought.

 

**Entry 8**

Jaehyun gave 100% to Doyoung on Sociability in recent Japanese radar-chart. Doyoung is the glue that binds NCT 127 and to a lesser extent NCT 2018. It is easy to see, no need to be very observant.

There are three main types of human mind that are recognised by neuroschientists today. They differ in what part of the brain leads and governs the other two. With every type one of the three main survival instincts are in play:

1) Survival of the individual (personal safety)

2) Survival of the group (well-being and safety of tribe)

3) Survival of the species (reproduction, passing of genes)

Homo sapiens is a social animal and one human normally can’t survive on their own. Individually we are weak (no big muscles, no claws) only as a group, through cooperation and clewer strategies, people can overpower elements and carnivores. Because of the need to stick together, there are many in-build mechanisms that help bonding, that turn wariness and agression into fondness and altruism. 

One of the strongest is *read it in Mark’s voice* Touch. 

Touching and hugging helps to turn strangers into friends, lower stress, provides feeling of comfort, protection, unity, actually helps rise immune system and fight illness.

That’s why, instinctively, NCT members touch a lot. 

And Doyoung, being a top example of type 2 (survival of the group), uses Touch to the fullest.

Doyoung

\- holds Lucas’s hand during lives and interviews,

\- lets Jungwoo and WinWin drape themselves over him,

\- lays his head on Johnny’s shoulder during a perfomace,

\- knows that Yuta is not very fond of touching, especially near his neck area, and still tries to tame the man from Osaka, 

\- lets Haechan molest his calves for the whole duration of an interview, lets him sit on his lap backstage,

\- drapes himself over Mark during MV shooting to demonstrate everybody how precious their maknae is,

\- hugs and squishes the rest of Dreamies when he can,

\- holds Taeyong’s hand all the time and puts protective hands on him during interviews…

And this Doyoung is hesitant to touch Jaehyun? To the extent shippers throw parties whenever there is a group photo where his hand is on Jae’s shoulder? 

The same, circa 2018, Doyoung can and does cling to Jaehyun like a koala with a maniac green and repeatedly slaps his butt on a Dojaeil’s Vlive?

Here is your contradiction. 

 

**Entry 9**

Vroom-Vroom Show

NCT’s life is highly eventful and everchanging. One week feels like two and what happened a year ago happened in past lifetime. The members say so themselves.

It is of no surprise then, that when Vroom-Vroom Show is mentioned, it takes time for many members to remember what it is and where is the joke. Even for Johnny, who actually was an active participant of ruining the gig for Doyoung (happened during one of the Motion studio vlives). 

Jaehyun is an exeption. Vroom-Vroom Show is his favourite inner joke that he has no desire of letting go in foreseeble future. 

The Bunny has to suffer. Jae is not past the pulling pigtails phase. Complaining Doyoung is cute Doyoung. And Jaehyun likes cute Doyoung. He actually stressed the “cute hyung” part in the Japanese form. He also likes attention. And Vroom-Vroom topic will give it to him.

 

**Entry 10**

Jaehyun is very territorial. On that later. Doyoung is harder to read, but one cannot control oneself 24/7 and so we have a gem that is “that’s my booty!” moment from Jaedo Vlive with Kun and Jungwoo. 

Scientific fact: The brain decides and executes an action before Mind/I/Ego thinks of it (i.e. before it’s informed of the decision made). 

Think of a time when you quickly withdraw your hand from a flame and with a delay think “whoah, that was dangerous!”. The brain saw the flame (the eyes are actually part of the brain, same embryonic tissue), got information from temperature and pain sensory cells and gave command to arm muscles to avoid the damage. Without wasting time on informing You. The You is slow and stupid, you’ll be long dead before you process the danger and decide on something.

We may think we are all highly intellectual and cultural beings, but in reality we are controlled by reptile brain. All that fancy neocortex is simly a harddrive to store information. 

Anyway. Humans do things and later regret them. The brain doesn’t care what Ego wants. The brain wants that cookie because there is sugar in it and sugar is energy and energy is essential for survival. Who invented this diet thing? Wasn’t there million years ago, when human brain evolved into what it is today. 

Jaehyun stands up to show off the back of his T-shirt with Snoopy. Jungwoo grabs the shirt excitedly to see the picture better. Doyoung looks at the camera and catches the movement of hands touching the butt of his boyfriend. The brain shouts “oh no, you didn’t!” and switches on the mate protection and potentional rival chasing off programme. Doyoung’s arm extends into direction of Jungwoo’s hands and his throat utters “Hey there!” (ot-tto).

Jungwoo, not understanding what has just happened, also on automatic, drops his hands immidiently despite doing nothing wrong, actually not even touching the butt (he held the cloth).

Doyoung’s Ego catches on what just happened, he looks up in disbelieve at Jaehyun, nervously laughs and, panicking, thinks how to get out of this situation without anybody noticing. He returns to his phone, drops the smile and switches again to the topic of cartoons and nicknames. 

Here is the cherry on top. While Doyoung was panicking, he forgot to take control over his hand, that, following the command to show ownership, proceeded to stroke the butt, twice. 

We get it, Doyoung, it’s a very nice cartoon of Snoopy. And that’s exactly why you appreciated it by caressing it. 

This reaction happened because Jungwoo is the new guy, the alien from 8th dimension, that everybody is still figuring out. Internally, Doyoung still doesn’t trust him, doesn’t know what to expect from him, the brain is wary and assuming. Be it Taeyong in Jungwoo’s place, I highly doubt the incident would have happened. 

And Jaehyun. He was sooo pleased with the jealosy act, the ice-cream cutie pie. That little smile and biting of the lips, uwu. Still, he did damage control and, sitting down, patted Jungwoo on his thigh, signalling “all is chill, pal”. 

Ah, I like this moment. By the way, when Jae was turning before camera, both times he was facing Jungwoo, with his rear to Doyoung. It’s a minute detail that shows who the person is closer to. Same kind of body language as turning your torso and legs towards the neighbour you are more interested in. 

Analysing behaviour I’m looking for specific “it” moments, that can be interpreted only one definite way. When I start doubting myself about Jaedo (and I do it on a regular basis, it’s a good habit for a scientist) I recall this booty incident. 

Remember, the body doesn’t lie.


	2. Entry 11-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **body language**  
>  noun [ U ] US /ˈbɑd·i ˌlæŋ·ɡwɪdʒ/
> 
> The movements or positions by which you show other people your feelings without using words:  
>  _Their body language said that they were really enjoying each other’s company._

**Entry 11**

Clothes and jewelry. 

Favourite topic for shippers. Almost always shippers are wrong with their “findings” and mistake similar clothes for identical items. As a rule, it’s better to not pay attention to it at all.

Jaedo do wear same clothes and same footwear (sometimes definetely same items), it’s a fact that doesn’t mean much (says devil’s advocate in me). Idols are showered with brands to promote and if your foot size is the same, why not exchange sneakers. Boundaries thin out when you live in the same dorm and share rooms and showers (although Jaedo have yet to become roomates, again, sharing footwear through years - sign of being very close). 

The silver bracelets. I believe they are indeed couple bracelets (and yes, the brands are different and Haechan and Taeyong have similar ones, but they don’t wear it ALL THE TIME and always on opposite arms). Even so, there is no way to know for sure. No way to prove it. So I won’t bring the braceletes into a debate about weather Jaedo real or not. 

Having said that, there IS a moment, a pebble to put on the scale. 

Dojaeil’s Vlive (with Kiki challenge). Do, reading the comments on his phone, absentmindedly starts to play with his bracelet. Jaehyun notices, puts his left arm on the table and also starts to play with his bracelet. 

Thing is, it was intentional copying. Both don’t have a habit of touching their jewelry, it was once in a while occasion. Jaehyun had to shift his position and lift his hand to get to the bracelet. Quite a lot of work for an automatic copying (synchronization). 

There was meaning behind the gesture. Like there was a link between two bracelets and Jaehyun wanted to remind himself that he has a couple item. The material manifestation of the bond. By members’ account he is a romantic. 

And never forget the hand hearts Jaehyun threw Doyoung’s way wearing that dopy smile of his. So cheesy that puppy. But, as they say, love turns you into an idiot.

 

**Entry 12**

Level of intimacy.

Scientists actually researched what parts of body people allow to touch, from strangers, siblings, parents of different genders to partners. Like it’s not common knowledge, right? But scientists want concrete data.

Here is a map. Yellow - allowed to touch, black - forbidden. It’s an average of 1368 respondee from 5 countries (Finland, France, Italy, Russia, UK). All Western countries (does Russia count as one? most of it in Asia, although I doubt they asked yakuts), but I don’t think Eastern countries are much different. 

“The results indicate that touching is an important means of maintaining social relationships. The touch space map is closely associated with the pleasure caused by touching. The greater the pleasure caused by touching a specific area of the body, the more selectively we allow others to touch it”.

(I’ve noticed with both Thai and Koreans that touching knee/thigh is a common way of attracting attention among men. Not in my country.)

Scientific fact: Tactile sensory feeling is primitive and is connected to the primitive parts of the brain. Literally, touch goes right to the core and evokes a reaction bypassing higher levels of CNS. Touch arouses, touch relaxes, touch brings out agression. Because reaction is almost impossible to control, people maintain distance with other people. Allowing only their partners to get really close and touch everywhere. 

Remember how Doyoung used Jaehyun’s leg as armpad? (Vlive with foreign members cooking Korean food). Poor Jae had to place an arm between Do’s back and his groin as a barrier. The whole introduction was a torture for him. (They both behaved oddly that day. The level of tension was high.)

And how in Idol room, radish pulling game, Jaehyun tickled and manhandled his vegetable of choice? Game or not, he wouldn’t have dared be so into it as to accidently touch his genitals with Do’s hands. There was no regard for boundaries at all. Nada. He could have touched anywhere with no repercussions.

Note. This level of body intimacy doesn’t indicate Jae and Do are sexual partners. It does indicate with no doubt that they are very very close. 

Jaehyun won’t be allowed to manhandle Tail or Kun the same way. 

Another good example for comparison is Doyoung and Yuta. Out of habit Do often lays his hand on Yuta’s shoulder, but quickly removes it. If he needs to apply force to demonstrate something, he will switch to Jaehyun (who sits one person away, so is less convenient). 

Lastly, secrecy or not, Doyoung likes to cling to Jaehyun. Like during NCT’s Night NIght insted of staying upright in his chair he will almost lay on Jaehyun’s chair. Or incline his head even closer to Jaehyun when they read comments together. Or like during Vlive with Kun and Jungwoo he will squeeze himself further into Jae’s chest, when the latter puts his arm over Do’s shoulder. 

 

**Entry 13**

Doyoung has known Jaehyun for around 5 years, they worked as MC-duo for half a year, Do is a regular MC on NCT’s Night Night. Why is then Doyoung these days avoids to look Jaehyun in the eyes? Weren’t they besties that went on dates back in the day? Don’t they have the High Five and a shoe rack for two? Don’t they go to each other’s hotel rooms to share and introduce new music? Horror movie nights? Why Doyoung pretends Jaehyun is not in the room and talks past him to other members (Johnny, Tail)? Do wasn’t like that even during end of 2016-start of 2017, when Jae was a pain in the ass.

So yes, during times when there are only three-four NCT members, it’s very evident how purposefully Doyoung keeps eye contact and converse with not!Jae member. To the point Jaehyun gets vexed sometimes and does something to attract attention to himself (DY and JN talk and talk during Moving studio, JH out of the blue “I’m hot!”, DY starts to fuss over him, JH “Oh, I’m OK, no need to take off my jacket” - this child, really).

Because there is a secret and Doyoung is afraid to betray it. It is very hard to rein in natural responses and established habits. Better avoid the trigger. During late spring - middle of summer Doyoung was very nervous and jumpy during vlives, checking camera and himself all the time. He is finally getting more lose with current comeback. I’m anticipating to see how he will balance the act in the end.

Doyoung-ah, hwaiting!

 

**Entry 14**

Scientific fact: “A tic is a sudden, repetitive, stereotyped, nonrhythmic, involuntary movement (motor tic) or sound (phonic tic) that involves discrete groups of muscles. Typically, tics increase as a result of stress or high energy emotions, which can include negative emotions, such as anxiety, but positive emotions as well, such as excitement or anticipation”.

Fun fact: Jaehyun has a tic. He chews at the corner of his bottom lip.

In his case it’s a nervous tic, appearing when he is distressed, has negative fleeting emotion/thought, is bothered by something. Very telling. 

Some times he is not in the best of moods and chews on his lip constantly. Other times he is in a good mood, smiles a lot, but the tic appears when something he doesn’t like is being said or done. When he represses his real thoughts and emotions. Happens around the topic of Doyoung-hyung all the time.

Example. Do says he is happy that there are 10 of them in NCT-127 now, because nobody has to share a hotel room with their manager from now on. Members ask with whom Jungwoo will room during their LA visit. It’s Doyoung. Jae chews on his lip, turns from the camera and gives a passing glance to Jungwoo, looks back at the camera, chews. Everybody tells Jungwoo what a quite neighbour Do is, Jae laughs and turns again to add his two cents (as per always). When camera focuses on Jungwoo, out of frame, Jae fidlles with curtain. A sign of distracting oneself and calming down. 

I feel you, Jae, when will you share a hotel-room with Alpha-Dong? Mark and Tail, please take the duty of chaperoning Jungwoo from Doyoung as soon as possible! 

 

**Entry 15**

Being an item.

In k-pop groups members have their designated roles: leader, moodmaker, comforting “older brother”, etc. Some positions are given, some chosen, some befall naturally. 

In NCT-127 Tayoung is official designated leader, Doyoung is self-proclaimed leader (sometimes he forgets and even gives command to start greeting). DY is a social being, fighting for a high position in hierarchy is natural for him, comes with his brain design. There are few NCT members that manage to not be tangled by his spider-web.

Jaehyun is not a leader, nor does he want to be (what did he write in that Japanese form? Position of golden retriver?). He was sent to host radio show for a reason, to hone his skills as a presenter. SM wants NCT visual to be front and centre. 

Still, Jaehyun shadows Doyoung rather regullary. Do points out to other members something on stage, Jae does the same. Do places hand on member’s back and urges to move in particular direction, Jae does the same. Do changes topic of conversation, Jae supports. And so on. 

Vice and his President.

 

**Entry 16**

I’m going talk Taeyong to celebrate 4th Regular win and the hug (Doyoung, why were you so far away? Tae was looking for you! At least you backed up the leader with the thank you speech).

Taeyong is closest with Doyoung, Johnny and Jaehyun. He is physically comfortable with Jae, actually to the point of being clingy and pushy sometimes. He can throw his leg on Jae’s lap, poke him in chest, fiddle with his clothes. No problem to give a kiss on cheek too (different from one Bunny we know, who ruined such an almost perfect BD picture). 

However, with 6 years of friendship and this level of physical comfort Taeyong went into “gay panic” mode during 2 year anniversary celebration Vlive. The one with the medals. 

Jae calls out Tae to award him the medal. Tae is nervous from the start: dropped sentences, nervous laughs, hands put behind the back, fidgeting from one foot to another. So far it might be just his character, but his nervousness escalates, when Jae puts his hand on him and is ready to pin the medal. Trying to fight and hide the agitation Tae jokes about “you are going to pinch me (with the needle)”. Jae calms him down, distracting and bringing closer to the camera. When Jae is pinning the medal, Tae is snickering in embaressment and turns his face away (I wonder what’s so funny in receiving a 2 year anniversary medal). Tae composes himself with the comment “my heart is beating fast” and turns to the man at work. Right at that moment Jae plays a joke on him and pretends he is going to give Tae a kiss. Tae shrieks. Sorry, I mean, Tae utters a manly panicked laugh, in response to what Jae mumbles “Like I would (kiss you)” and professionaly wraps the ceremony with a handshake. Taeyong hurriedly switches to the topic of Mark.

Weird.

Taeyong gets flustered when somebody is boldly flirting with him, true, he is an awkward introvert. Yet the whole situation looks different. Tae was jumpy from the start, Jae didn’t bring his face that close, duck-lips and a slight incline towards Tae were enough to elicit a panicked response.

What happened to Taeyong from February? Why Taeyong of July is afraid to get a kiss on the cheek? When three weeks before Taeyong of June smooched one on Tail?

Questions. Questions.

Both 2 year anniversary Vlives are full of unusual dynamics and reactions. No way to know, but the level of awkwardness among the members who have been together for so long, make me suspect there was a shift in paradigm, i.e. Jaedo came out. Some members took it in stride (some definetely weren’s surprised), some took a few days to re-adjust. 

Taeyong’s behaviour would make sense if Jaehyun went from “my bro” to “my gay bro” list. Like suddenly Jaehyun became a “predator” (well, in his defence, Jaehyun did play the part, with Mark too the next day). 

P.S. Jaedo, dears, keep em side by side photos coming. I know it won’t last forever, so at least while R-I era is happening. 

 

**Entry 17**

Doyoung has personal approach to his fellow-members, when it comes to taking care of them. He gives them what they need. Translation aid and interpretation for foreign members, allowing to be clingy to him with the touchy members, saying “it’s OK to be weird, I like it” to the strange ones, bying snacks for Dreamies, etc. 

Naturally, I haven’t watched every interview and every live to be sure, it’s a prelimenary observation, but it seems he praises the looks of three particular members: Taeyong, Yuta and Jaehyun: “The world best face”, “Look at this face”, “He was born with this skin”.

I can tell with confidence Yuta and Jaehyun are insecure about their looks. Yuta did plastic surgeries to the point he doesn’t look like his Rookie days self anymore. And he was idol-looks-worthy back then too. It wasn’t SM that pressed him to do it. 

Jaehyun is very uneasy about his naturally plumpy face. At one of Moving studios he was worried he looked a bit swollen (and it was pre-comeback time, when his cheeks actually hollowed). 

Taeyong… he changes his hairstyle so often, says make up and coloured hair help him become the stage persona, boost his confidence… he wouldn’t be as shy if he was as confident in his looks as Lucas or Haechan are (Haechan is example to follow, actually. Saying “I like the colour of my skin” in society crazy about pearly-white looks is a big deal). So it’s probably safe to say he is insecure too (I’ll trust Doyoung on this one).

Doyoung is king of promotion (”everybody, search NCT 127 on Naver, I’ll give you a high five!”), but that is not why he chose Jaehyun to represent the new concept. “Jaehyun looks like a real Prince” is the support and praise the latter needs and wants. Not to mention, Do does it before the other members, without reserve. Secrecy takes a tall on Jae, it’s better to give him something in return.


	3. Entry 18-25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **jealousy**  
>  noun [ C or U ] UK /ˈdʒel.ə.si/ US /ˈdʒel.ə.si/
> 
> A feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want:  
>  _He broke his brother's new bike in a fit of jealousy._

**Entry 18**

Wow.

Doesn’t happen all the time, but often enough to attract attention from me. 

Doyoung reacts with supportive, sometimes exaggerated “WOW” to Jaehyun’s introduction or when he is showing or doing something. Like when Jae was attracting attention to the Snoopy picture on his T-shirt (Do actually stopped reading comments for a moment) or during 181025 Old School Radio (of all NCT-127 members, only for him). 

Woow. Our galaxy superstar!

 

**Entry 19**

Everybody knows about personal space, a zone around body up to 50 cm. In this zone only partners, relatives and close friends are permitted. 

But even with close friends, if it’s not freezing and body heat is sought out, distance of 3-5 cm is usually maintained. If two sit at the table very close, they arrange their arms in the way as to not touch. Different parts of body have different sensitivity. Arms, especially the inner part and mid-arm bend, where skin is very thin (and nerve endings more accessible), are highly sensitive to stimulation. Caressing arms with light touches induce arousal, some people even can get orgasms. 

We notice when our arm’s bare skin is in contact with another human, better get rid of this unnessesary stimulation buzz when working on assigment, eating or talking. When arms accidently touch, one or both people usually shift their arms to achieve some distance between them.

Jaehyun once demonstrated the opposite. When Do moved his arm on the table and broke the contact, Jae shifted his arm next to touch again. 

 

**Entry 20**

EnNaNa trio discuss names and nicknames. After Do’s story about how he was teased in school and how SM came up with the stage name.

JN: What variant do you prefer? Doyoung or Dong Young?

JH: I like Dong Young more!

DY: Err..

JN: … As for me, Doyoung.

Nobody asked your opinion, Jae, nobody… so unprofessional to jump in ahead of the guest. Thank you, Johnny, for covering the mistake of the stupid boy.

The incident stuck in my memory, because it demonstrates, that Jae has OPINIONS considering Doyoung-hyung. This happened last year, when Jae was still chasing and reminding of his continuing interest.

 

**Entry 21**

There was a research on sparrows that showed that a flock is smarter than an individual bird. The sum is not equal to its parts. As they say, two heads better than one. Same with shippers, the more there are, the more pairs of eyes and curious minds, the more details are being noticed. 

Recent development: shippers caught on Doyoung’s habit of copying other people. I’d say this avid mirroring is the side-effect of his predisposition to attune to people (there’re many articles on mirror neurons, go read them). The closer he is to somebody, the more often he does it. He copies both Taeyong and Jaehyun.

When mirroring is discussed in articles like “how to make other person like you” and “how to establish good rapport”, the authors talk about subtle gestures, topics of conversation, smiles. Doyoung repeats big movements. He has to copy, involuntary, like there is a spring inside him that needs to get lose. 

Side note. Tayoung, with his predisposition to take care, constantly does small stuff like drawing out chairs, righten member’s clothes, taking off specks of dirt, giving out snacks, hugging, etc. There was a moment when he made a move of putting his hand on Do’s shoulder for a group photograph and adjusted Do’s shirt’s collar at the same time, not even looking at his direction. Master level.

Side note two: three bats make a camp! On a pumpkin patch!

I’m watching the haloween Dispatch Vlive and when Jae says he chose a leather jacket to wear for the sole reason of dressing up as Dracula and adjusts his jacket, Do looks down at his (leather, huh) jacket and also adjusts it. 

LOL, when Mark remembers Jaehyun lived in America and, embarassed, laughs.

When Jae smells the pumkins, Do repeats. (Although, here it might be concious decision, participation in antics is part of the job during shooting a live). 

TY comments on JH and the bat ring “Oh, he got married” and gives a glance to Do. Do non-supportively laughs. Mark shakes his head in dissaproval and glances at managers. Haechan sings a tune. Preoccupied Jae doesn’t notice the comment and switches the ring to index finger, enlargering the ring. Hmmm… you know what I’m gonna say, so deduce yourself.

Another examples: 

\- trying to touch his nose with his lips after Jae during EnNaNa,

\- repeating dance movements with arms, when sitting side by side in group inteviews,

\- extending his hand vigorously after Jae during group Vlive backstage.

 

**Entry 22**

Not in many species of mammals sclera of the eye is visible. Some primates are an exeption, however sclera of monkeys and apes is dark: brown or black.  
Humans have white sclera. It has long been speculated that the reason behind this change is for easier detection of eye movement and direction of a look on intraspecies level. Our ancestors had to communicate somehow before language was invented.

Even today we follow direction of other’s gaze, silently say with movement of our irises “hey, look at that person”, roll eyes, betray emotions with fidgetly looking to the floor or to the side.

Surprisingly, humans are not perfect in reading the exact direction of a look or focus distance. Especially when it’s video or photograph.

Shippers often make mistakes. They happily share a screenshot or video cut of one half of their ship “lovingly looking at his/her bae”, when the said person looked past them, to the crowd of fans or another member of the group/cast.  
There is a need to be vary of this and to be careful of making judgments based on somebody else’s edits. Seek the source, see the whole picture.

Happens with Jaedo shippers too, of course. Recent example: 3-d Regular win, when Jae was standing behind Do. A couple of nice screenshots of “loving gaze” were floating on Twitter, alas, Jae was looking at the fans, his eyes were focused further than Doyoung’s face.

Now, when there are few people in the room and no cute animals walking or playing around on the floor, one can be sure that indeed person A looked at person B or person’s B lips/chest. I confirm, when Doyoung came to EnNaNa in black sweetshirt and the guys discussed his casual fashion for some time, Jaehyun looked down at his open v-neck and clavicles a few times. And you know, one time is enough to confirm that there is a v-neck, three times is bordering appreciation of the view. 

Why glimpses of naked skin are enticing? Because there is “promise” of something more, anticipation. 

Believe it or not, but anticipation of reward brings more pleasure than the reward itself. Monkey is happier when she solves the task and knows she is going to get grape juice as the reward, than when she actually tastes the juice in her mouth. Dopamine spike is higher the first time. 

Same goes for 50% VS 100% chance. When there is 50% chance of getting the reward for solved problem/task, level of exitment is double than that of 100%. Don’t give your dog a treat everytime she follows your command, make her not know the outcome. She will do the tricks with more vigor.

Of course Jaehyun saw those clavicles before, still, it’s a rare enough occasion to have opportunity to do so. Hence, he couldn’t help himself and not steal a glance. Is there a T-shirt underneath the sweetshirt or the chest is bare? Curious minds want to know.

 

**Entry 23**

Ah, Jaehyun-ah… why are you so you. 

Lets analyse Doyoung unpumpking his choice of plastic berry. Dispatch Halloween Vlive part 2.

1) As I’ve mentioned before, Jaehyun is focused on Doyoung during vlives, interviews. He looks at him, he listens attentively, he shakes his head in agreement, he actively participates (when he is not it’s a tantrum period). Haechan, for example, likes his hyung very much, yet he is distracted with phone or cup-cakes or toys on the table. He has stuff to do beside following every Doyoung’s move. In this Vlive Jae asks for all the candies Do unpacks and toys first, takes a toy to unpack from Do’s hands, among the 4 members he is the most involved.

2) When Jae and Tae tried to promt Do to re-adjust the swollen lips toy, Tae hesitantly moved his hands in the air around Do’s face. Jae touched his cheek with no hesitation. And it’s not playful light poke or cheek pinching, he moved skin, which is a more boundary overstepping thing to do. Remember, in Korea even one year age difference is a big thing. Doyoung is older, he has to be respected, close friends or not. Haechan, who is “an evil maknae” and who can pull Taeil’s eirs, doesn’t dare touch his face, he, like Tae, moves his hands in the air, when he uses Taeil in a place of another younger member during storytelling. 

Note: if Jae had been very rough, handsy and boundary-pushing all the time type of guy, cheek touching would have been just another rude thing on the list. He isn’t. He is a gentleman. A bit of a pushover even.

3) Taeyong takes off from Doyoung’s upper lip a stuck piece of a treat. Firstly, Do was looking past him during this, i.e. he wasn’t into it sensually and emotionally (Taedo is platonic). Secondly, Jaehyun merrily laughs with Mark and that’s it, no beef? Yeaah, no. He grabs the toy fingers in front of him and “breaks” them. And that is a sure give away of displaced aggression. It’s not serious, he knows Taedo are besties and he himself loves Tae too, but the pang of jealousy and dissaproval was felt. He is not interested in playing with the fingers, so he places them back in a few seconds. Calming himself down by arranging them in line. Notice the shift from abrupt brusque grabbing and slow, careful placing back. What he wants is that rubber eyeball. A treat, attention from Doyoung-hyung.

4) “You’re still my number one” sing-songs Jaehyun out of nowhere and for no apparent reason. What was that? So I googled, most probably it’s Boa’s “No.1″, the tune of the verse is the same. In Korean version “You’re still my number one” is in English.

English translation (from https://lyricstranslate.com/en/no1-no1.html)

As I am looking at your face in the dark

without realizing tears are flowing

soundlessly you follow me and shine on me

finally were you caring for me because you knew me?

you, who gave my first love shine

you also saw my break up

You’re still my NO. 1

don’t look for me, hide my sadness

hide behind those clouds

and block the light (block)

so that this road won’t know my tears for him

Don’t blame him for changing his mind

since your face also changes little by little

but I miss you will I be able to forget you?

want you back in my life

I want you back in my life

my love and the past memories as well

they all disappear

You’re still my NO. 1

when the full moon goes away, the sad light will be smaller

on behalf of me, will you

show him his way?

my unfinished love please shine on him like me

sometimes, while I am asleep, come and find me in my window

and tell me how he’s doing

in my dreams I could fill

his warm hands

huh doo doo doo

but tonight don’t look for me

hide my sadness

hide behind those clouds

and block the light (block)

so that this road won’t know my tears for him

when the full moon goes away, the sad light will be smaller

on behalf of me,will you

show him his way?

my unfinished love

you still my No.1

My question to Jae, what does this song has to do with Halloween and eating candies and fooling around with rubber eyes? Beside night setting and talking to the Moon? 

Side note: fitting lyrics for the vocal trio, huh. Moon Taeil and the drama.

There are smaller stuff to pinpoit, but enough for one entry.

 

**Entry 24**

Body language lesson. (video - https://dojae-huh.tumblr.com/post/179708709058/entry-24-body-language-lesson-what-we-have-here)

What we have here is my favourite example of Jaehyun’s jealousy. I don’t remember from what time it is exactly. 2017? Correct me if I’m wrong. 

Do is in grey sweetshirt, Taeyong is in pink T-shirt, Jaehyun is in white T-shirt. The one with backpack is Haechan, if I’m not mistaken. 

1) Their position. All four make a circle, their feet pointing at each other. They are interested in each other as people and are connected. They are also the core of the larger group, as the other three are on the orbit around them. 

2) At this moment Haechan is physically with the group, part of the unit, in a comfort zone, protected, but is not interested in the inner-circle dynamics. He is bored (looks at the feet, shifts from one foot to another, reacts to outside sounds) and simply waits for the time to board. 

3) Taeyong is also bored, so he entertains himself by pestering Doyoung. He “pulls pigtails” - makes a move to pull the hoodie strings (hard to tell with this low quality, he might also try to look at a pendant closer, anyway, he touches near Do’s neck). Doyoung stops Taeyong and catches his hand. He indulges Taeyong and protects his personal space at the same time. Short play of kittens. You chase me, I chase you.

4) Tae and Do don’t exclude Jae from the game, it seems (again, quality and angle), both look at him and tell each other something. There is no “gone to their own world”. They react to outside stimuluses.

5) Jaehyun at first looks at his documents, but once Tae starts to lift his hand, Jae looks up to see what’s going on. He is interested in the inner-circle dynamics (to be precise, what’s happening with/around Do). The moment he sees Tae’s hand on Do’s neck he starts to turn in opposite direction from Do. “I don’t want to see it” reaction, moving away from the source of irritation. He turns back to look again, to re-asses the situation, he continues to really not like what’s going on and makes a whole 360′ turn, leaving the circle. He is “running away” in restricted form. He drops his right hand and grabs his baseball cap, venting out, releasing agression. 

Displaced agression is a way of diffusing negative emotions, “hitting back”. Employee can’t argue with his boss, he yells at his wife or kicks his dog at home. The reason of anger is abstract or not in the room, affected person breaks chair, hits table, punches pillow. When there is no opportunity to destroy something or the level of anger is not very high, the negative energy transforms into kicking dirt and harsh movements. There is physical need to let off steam. 

6) Jaehyun fixes his gaze for a second on Do twice, for longer time before the final turn. He gives Taeyong only cursory look. 

Basically, what is happening here is “how dare he touch what is mine!” (Tae) and “how dare he flirt with somebody who is not me!” (Do) indignation. In reality though, Do is not Jae’s at this point in time and he can’t make a claim, so he is angry and frustrated he is powerless. 

I like this moment because it’s one-way-to-read case. The behaviour and reasons behind it are crystall clear. 

Strictly speaking, one can disregard the subtlities (fixed gaze, direction of turns) and argue that Jaehyun was jealous because of Taeyong, not Doyoung. However, comparison of Jaeyong and Jaedo dynamics throughout the years gives definite answer - it is not Taeyong. 

 

**Entry 25**

Let’s talk Johnny.

He surprised me with not drawing arrows to other members of NCT on Japanese relationship chart from 2017 (he, Mark, Chenle and Ten). Psychological interpretation of drawings is questionable, but there is some merit to it. And psychology says that Johnny doesn’t feel himself part of the group, he didn’t tie his name to names of others with bonds and ropes. Every name is surrounded with pictograms and some with hearts, every name is a world on its own, but Johnny’s name is lonely in the middle, adorned with tiny two small hearts.

link - https://nctimezone.tumblr.com/post/164331671982/sm-town-official-japan-nct-describes-other

Compare it to Haechan’s. He loves hyungs, hyungs love him. Or Taeyong’s. And Taeyong is an introvert.

Take the following as speculation only. 

I do get an impression from Johnny of a person who really wants and struggles to find somebody to truly connect with. Clowns are sad inside. Hopefully he will find himself a partner, that will become his second half. He is an observer who studies and loves humans and he does actively look for a solution for his feeling of loneliness. He makes the needed steps to integrate himself in NCT more, to carve himself a role and a place. And, based on his words about Doyoung, I think he learns from him (for example, Johnny now also makes shy members to participate in interviews, like he prompts Lucas to step forward and be his loud self). 

Side note: I’d say he clings to Taeil because of this need to feel warmth (same with liking cute things and toys on the bed). Look, he drew a teddy-bear near Taeil’s name.

Johnny is very fond of Doyoung as a person and singer. He finds him extremely cute, interesting partner in conversation, he is grateful to him for constant support and being a good listener. He is Doyoung’s fanboy and with the amount of praise and sweet looks in his direction and number of moments of being overpowered by Bunny’s cuteness Johndo ship should be stronger (the reality is, the two together don’t fit any popular mold). 

Johnny has a habit of looking at people attentively and directly with smile. And yet, when he is in conversation with Doyoung there is distance between them, like there is a spring they are not crossing, talking from different sides of it. They align, but don’t pull each other. He also doesn’t touch Doyoung that much (he does Mark, they both have a habit of putting hands on each others shoulders, when in different rows).

Johnny and Jaehyun were rommates and because of EnNaNa and lots of time for only two of them, they are close too and know things about each other other members don’t (for example, Jae’s view on Johnny’s charisma in radar-chart). 

And yet, Jaehyun forgets about Johnny every time there is Doyoung in vicinity.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/7fe4349908fa62e87b98a1a182dc9e1a/tumblr_inline_phmbr29C2B1sf0slg_1280.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/d855dda0075edff36185bc4c951010c7/tumblr_inline_phmbqpHlSZ1sf0slg_1280.jpg

I’m lowkey waiting for Johnny to start showing letters into the camera for fans to later connect them into something like “tired of this shit”. 

The point of this entry is comparison. Only when you compare different relationships, you can surely say if what person A has with person B is something special. For example, I've mentioned before that Jae keeps Jungwoo at bay. Jaehyun takes care of Jungwoo and dresses up as Jack to hise Rose, but at the same time he tries to stop the flirting and exsessive touching, set boundaries to their friendship. 

https://66.media.tumblr.com/c1d422cf6ab17394d584ceb7ec00fd41/tumblr_inline_phmd4rsEBn1sf0slg_1280.jpg


	4. Entry 26-30

**Entry 26**

Small things. 

There are fleeting, miniscule interactions I notice that on their own don’t have weight, but piling up they become an argument too. 

For example. When Taeyong and Doyoung came to wish Happy Birthday to Jaehyun during radio recording, after wrapping up the episode Jae went straight to Do. 

You can check it here , starting from 43:00.

link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1lGUW6xZ10&t=826s

On camera Doyoung is the least affectionate member: Johnny and Taeyong both planted cream on Jae’s face, Tae put hands on Jae’s shoulders and played with fanned fingers around his face. Do could have touched several times, but didn’t.

Oh no! Jaedo are cold to each other!

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something” though, so keep looking.

Jae goes back to collect papers and clean up the table. His tongue is out, a giddy smile on his face, he is happy because of the surprise visit. He looks back towards the guests two times in anticipation. Jae passes Johnny without interacting with him, because all his thoughts are elsewhere. He also lifts his head, people do it when inhale deeply (to open throat more and let air flow easier). Might be that happy sigh/inhale. 

Jae returns, hands a person from the radio staff his equipment without even looking in their direction and starts talking to… Doyoung, because Tae had just entered the frame and Jae paid him no mind. Meaning, the first two glances also were meant for Doyoung. If Jae would have been equally interested in both visitors, he would have looked at Tae or called to him to draw his attention and bring into circle with himself. Nope, Do and Jae talked off camera, while Tae was collecting his clothes with no rush, leaving them to their own devices. 

Maybe Jae talked with other staff? No, the majority of staff (director, producer) is outside of the recording room, if Jae wants to talk to them, he goes to them, not the other way around. They are still working anyway, the camera is rolling and there are ADs to play and transition to another programme to make. 

So you have it, folks. Johnny offered the cake to us, fans, Taeyong smiled and waved a final good bye, and Jaehyun forgot about our existence, because there was Doyoung-hyung in the vicinity. 

 

**Entry 27**

Jaehyun knows a lot of trivia about Doyoung-hyung and makes everything Doyoung-related his business.

Thing that is easy to pick up even after a few interviews or talks is that Jae figuratevily “goes and stands near” Doyoung whenever the latter is discussed. 

(paraphrasing, not exactly accurate as I have poor memory, but the gist of it)

Members discuss Doyoung’s fridge - Oh, I saw those drinks lined up, really so many.

Members mention Doyoung is a quite roommate - Yes, he is indeed.

The topic of conversation is watching horror movies - Doyoung-hyung is the most enjoyable to watch them with, he gets scared so easily.

WinWin says he chose Doyoung to call in an emergency, because he thinks the latter is reliable - Oh really? It’s the first time I hear you say that.

Johnny reminds Doyoung that he told him before about a possible nice hair colour for him - huh? tell me, what colour? 

Doyoung says he didn’t see the morning rain (?) - It’’s because you woke up late, 11:30. 

And my favourite:

Doyoung: I and Taeyong-hyung are blueberry and strawberry!

Jaehyun: Then… I’m chocolate milk!

(Jae had cocoa-coloured hair back then, but it’s also worth noting that chocolate milk is Do’s preffered drink, Jae gifts him a supply of it on his BD annually and buys new flavours during the rest of the year)

 

**Entry 28**

The moment I’m going to talk about is difficult to notice, took me several repeats to understand what is going on and I’m an experienced observer. 

Subs are not needed, so this clip will do. Or find it on Vlive with English subs. Yuta, Doyoung and Jaehyun’s live before their Global MC gig.

link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_4OWQZPmsI

We need the part where the guys say their good byes. Set time at 1:48, a bit before the moment in question. 

Right after Yuta says his farewell words, Doyoung, surprised by something, laughs. He has a distinct tone to his surprised involuntary laugh, so it caught my attention. After the laugh he pulls his lips into a genunine wide smile. Because it’s not the place and time to behave freely, he soon drops it. What could be the reason? So I re-watched again, paying attention to other members. 

Yuta is saying to fans to watch the show later. There is nothing funny about it, so he is out. 

Doyoung is not looking elsewhere, so it’s also not something happening behind the camera in the room. 

Jaehyun slightly puckers his lips. It’s such a subtle movement, that it’s hard to believe it is the reason behind Do’s reaction, but it is. Do’s eyes are focused on the monitor of the camera and he laughs right after Jae moves his lips. 

Hearing the laugh, seeing the reaction, Jae smiles, stops waving his hand and gives a finger heart. 

Whatever Jae was hinting at, Do got the reference. 

The clip is short so I advise to watch it from the beginning to understand the overall relaxed and playful mood. 

 

**Entry 29**

Jaehyun might teach Doyoung English. I need more moments for the case to be sure, but during EnNaNa Jae addressed Do in English a couple of times:

*Do coughs* J: Bless you D: Thank you

*Do waits for ADs to start and only then sneezes* J: Nice timing

and during a group interview backstage Do repeated some difficalt English word after Jae, practicing pronunciation while other members continued to talk. 

Koreans do like to insert English words in their speech, but it’s usually *cool* words. Like “Let’s get it”, “Swag”, “Another one”. “Nice timing” is not one of them. And the context itself (Jae took a moment from DJ-ing to pay attention and say the words to Do both times) and the relaxed everyday tone that was used hint at a routine. 

English is not Jaehyun’s mother tongue, he doesn’t have a penchant for switching to it like Mark or Johnny do. He is not the best person to learn from either. Doyoung shares his room with Mark. Why practice with Jaehyun at all?

Mayhaps because he is the boyfriend and you spend time together anyway? Kicking Mark out of the room to watch yet another movie with Haechan, who is, by coincidence, Jaehyun’s roommate? (Not my imagination, 2nd anniversary Vlive and “I replaced Mark” talk. And Haechan and Mark watched something a few days ago, TMI from 2nd or 3d issue).

 

**Entry 30**

I’m quite sure that Jaedo are dating now. I’m not an all-seeing god, so I’ll leave some room for an error, but every new development in R-I era and video watched only adds to the pool of evidence. (Or should I drop caution of a scientist and simply say “100%”?)

I can’t say when exactly they started, but not later than the end of May. So April-May probably. There was too much “this is NEW” exitement at the start of June for the dating to be a long affair. Plus it’s more logical for Doyoung to make the big step after the Empathy comeback. And it was Doyoung’s decision, because Jaehyun was born ready had confessed sometime before (might be even two years before, but I need to properly study that era first).

And the more I think about it, the more I believe that indeed 2nd anniversary or the day before was the time Jaedo came out to the members. The dirty jokes, the apologies, the awkwardness, Jae playing the confident gay part. Taeyong and his resurrected penchant for praising Doyoung during the R-I comeback, Johnny and his “I can’t look at this" about the selca lesson, Mark nervously looking at managers, when Taeyong jokes about Jaedo marriage during Haloween vlive. 

In other k-pop groups with gay-pairings other members observe them like hawks and cover up their mistakes: slip of tongue or when there is too much PDA. Right now Jaedo has to tend for themselves mostly, LOL (Taeyong, I’m looking at you). 

Doyoung making a poll for Taeil-WinWIn-Yuta triangle, bringing it later on Vlive, being an avid supporter of Johnny-Taeil, telling interviewers how one-sided it is? Distraction at its finest. Yuta deserves his expensive present.

Back to the 2nd celebration of the 2nd anniversary. There was this particular moment with Taeyong.  
link - https://twitter.com/leculturethings/status/1015537423521107970  
I’m providing a link to a cut, but only for you to know what scene I’m talking about. You need the whole picture, so watching the Vlive is a must if you want to see it for yourself. Setting the time at 34:28 will do. 

The English sub is awful, so most of my analysis is based on the body language. 

The members discuss where they would like to go as a whole group. Different places are proposed, they exchange opinions on who prefers what: going to the sea ot to the mountains (Korean two traditional destinations). Taeyong tries to describe a particular place and its attractions. There is a trail for mountain biking or something and Jae says he’s been there and cycled it during trainee days. 

And here is where the subs betray us, not translating everything accurately. There is definetely some play of words, the particular way Jae constructed his sentence, prompting Taeyong repeat after him and to start laugh histerically. Doyoung, Taeil and Haechan join him. Jae, WinWin, Johnny and Yuta are clueless. Haechan stops himself soon after, drinking his juice. Doyoung picks up the topic, trying to smooth out the ouburst, Taeil and Taeyong can’t stop laughing. Taeil looks at Jae and Doyoung. Taeyong repriminds himself “what are we even talking about?”, i.e. “it’s not the place to laugh over such things, we are live”. Doyoung squirms when he laughs (lifts his shoulders and tucks his head), betraying the conflict of emotions: it is funny for him, but at the same time makes him uneasy (can be many things). 

However you look at it, it was a dirty innuendo. Appropriate or light-hearted jokes don’t make people behave like this. Have it been some funny incident Jae did in the past during his trip, he would have been included in the joke with “remember, when…”.

The joke was at expense of not only Jae, but also Do, because after everybody calmed down, Taeyong felt he needed to apologize to Do. That’s why he picked up the heart from his cake and forcefully fed it to Doyoung with “it’s my heart, accept my love”.

Gay joke it is. Mountain roads, tunnels, been there… Only Koreans can explain.

When Doyoung, surprised by the feeding, reacted with a Dotae appropriate antic of halfing the heart, he looked at Jae. When Taeyong made Do finish the cookie, he gave a glance to Jae to check on him too. 

This reading is very speculative, true. And is possible due to additional information (Jaedo is real, everyday member’s interactions, Tae’s character, Do is his best friend, etc). Still it looks close to the truth.

 

**Bonus. Dowoo.**

Remember Ten and Jungwoo’s battle for the title of the most confident gay? (I’m not calling them gays here, only the meme). Vlive with Dreamies and the “I love you” game of chicken. Was it Lucas who ruined it by making it a draw? Damn him. I needed that cat fight! I want a rematch.

Ten, Lucas, Haechan and Jungwoo are examples of the third psychological type, the one driven by instinct of preserving the species, reproduction. This type is very common among artists, actors and singers. For people of this type the world revolves around them, they need to be in the spotlight, to have the love of the crowd, the awe, the attentioin. It’s “me, myself and I” culture. 

Jungwoo mentioned recently he wants to become an actor. Who would have thought? 

When Haechan whines about Doyoung preferring Jeno over him, he means it. This type especially desires the love of those they deem worthy of their own respect. 

Ten and Haechan are independent Divas, Jungwoo is infantile and lacks their emotional strenght. If Ten enters the room with “bitches, bow before me”, Jungwoo plays coy and seduces. You think he dressed up as Rose because he secretly wants to wear female clothes? Nope. He wanted “all eyes on me” result that a dress on a man brings. Doyoung suffered his share untill he managed to make Jungwoo switch to another strategy - the child. 

It’s a win-win situation. Jungwoo gets his love and attention, Doyoung is at rest with yet another child slash pet well fed and satisfied. All is well in the tribe, the new member is taken care of and assimilation goes without problems. Plus the partner by the name of Jaehyun also helps with rearing the chick.

Aigoo.


	5. Entry 31-35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.”_
> 
> Kahlil Gibran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find individual video analysises with screenshots at my tumblr.

**Entry 31**

Accumulative evidence. 

There are instances of sexual behaviour that can’t be misinterpreted as something else (in this particular context, era, culture, with this person’s character). 

And there is behaviour that is a form of intimacy that not only partners, but close friends also can engage in. This is the territory shippers love and hate. 

Lingering of gazes and fingers, prolonged hugs, massage of shoulders, stroking of butts, kisses on the cheek and foreheads, etc. 

For example this moment. Do Jaedo shippers overreact about hand caressing? Do they wear pink googles?

Depends. Such moments can’t be used as evidence of a ship being real on their own. Only be supplementary material to more solid arguments. And you need many of these small moments. And better yet if such touches contradict overall behaviour (the two persons are indifferent to each other in public or seldom engage in more brotherly touches). 

Let’s look into details.

\- Jae incomes, licking his lips. / Can be chapped lips. Can be a sign of a pleasant idea. Can be a sign of boredome (they are to perform, so not in this case).

\- Jaehyun joins his three co-members, excluding Taeil from his group hug. / He doesn’t like Taeil. He wants to touch Doyoung or Haechan specifically.

\- Jaehyun doesn’t rest his right hand on Taeil’s arm and sneaks it further to cover Doyoung’s hand. / He doesn’t like Taeil. He wants to touch Doyoung specifically.

\- Jaehyun doesn’t leave his left hand where it landed at first on Doyoung’s shoulder, but puts it lower. / A more comfortable position for the elbow. Securing of a hold and reenforcing of the hug on Doyoung’s side. 

\- Jaehyun puts his chin on Doyoung’s shoulder. / He wants to show his face to the camera. He wants to cuddle with Doyoung. 

\- Doyoung’s left hand squzeed slightly Jaehyun’s right hand. / Haechan shakes his shoulders and repositions their hands. It’s intentional movement from Doyoung (conscious or subconscious). 

\- Doyoung makes a pause in his talk and slighly turns his head towards Jaehyun, not actually looking at him. / He is distructed by a new member joining the group, whose appearance made him lose his concentration on his speech, he forgot the words. He is distructed by Jaehyun’s hands on his body and is worried about PDA in public. 

\- Jaehyun’s right hand caresses Doyoung’s hand on departing. / It’s accidental. It’s deliberate.

It was a stolen cuddle and subtle hold of hands. But I can safely say so only because the type of relationship between Jaedo is known due to the pool of evidence consisting of more solid facts and observations. 

 

**Entry 32**

Jaedo often turn to each other to laugh over something together (a joke said by the host or another member, a private joke).  
Link - https://twitter.com/JXDSAVE/status/1063664817024770048

I first noticed it during a radio show, where the members were sitting by age, therefore Jaedo sat side by side. They almost didn’t pay attention to each other, listening to the other members, keeping a professional serious face, yet they looked at each other to share a laugh. 

“People who spent more time laughing with their partner felt that they were more similar to their partner,” Algoe says. “They had this overlapping sense of self with the other person. We also found that the more people laughed with their romantic partner, the more they felt they were supported by that person.” (source)

“Of all the laughter evaluated, shared laughter was consistent in its independent positive associations with relational closeness and perceptions of partner supportiveness, <…> some of the results indicated that, for men, shared laughter may be particularly diagnostic of the overall quality of the relationship, including satisfaction, passion, and commitment.” I.e. if two laugh together, all is well. The partners are happy, feel attraction towards each other and are not interested in looking for another person. (source)

 

**Entry 33**

Doyoung and his “With Jaehyun, with Jaehyun, with Jaehyun and (who was there else?)… Jaehyun and Haechan”.

I watched a movie/ate/went with Jae and…

Example (Jaehyun-ie-rang = with Jaehyun) - https://twitter.com/dojaearchive/status/1054368329320751106 (post with smileys)

 

**Entry 34**

Link - https://twitter.com/JXDSAVE/status/1065589775065767936

What’s this vocalisation? You are owls now? 

Jokes aside. Good example of Jae’s “Doyoung”-smile. He doesn’t use it only with him, but most often because of him. Jaehyun’s generic (still sincere) smile has lip corners turned downwards. “Doyoung”-smile has the upward turned corners. Some additional muscles are used, making this smile bigger in magnitude. It’s not a lazy smile, cheeks tense too, the degree of enjoyment is higher. Emotion pulls the facial expression, not the other way around in this case. 

 

**Entry 35**

To understand relationship between people collection of facts/observations is essential, but it’s not the only tool. Find out condradictions, test assumptions, fill in the gaps. If one hypothesis doesn’t work, switch to another. People are ultemately the same. You already have from your life experience most of possible scenarios in your head. 

1) Jaehyun’s behaviour indicates he had a crush on Doyoung during ShowChamp times. 

2) Does he still has it? -> He is still focused on Do, jealousy present, lovestruck look is the same in 2018. -> The answer is “yes”. 

3) What about Doyoung? -> Do flirted back, Do is flustered when other male idols kiss him on cheek, “his lips”, Do is taken by surprise and later runs away from Jungwoo’s “confident gay game”, Do is LGBT advocate -> There is a possibility he might be gay/bi -> There is a possibility he might response to Jae’s feelings.

4) Possible scenarios:

\- Jae never confessed/Do doesn’t notice his feelings -> Jae should show signs of pining and sadness. There should be some distance between them. No to “I’m allowed to touch you anywhere”.

\- Jae confessed, was rejected/Do noticed his feelings, rejected Jae -> Signs of friendzone. Awkwardness. Both should be careful with their touches in fear of overstepping. / Jae might try to fight his crush, distancing himself from Do and/or focusing on another member and spending majority of time with them.

\- Jae’s feelings are returned -> Noticable change in behaviour before/after. Both are very happy. Attempts to keep it under wraps. Nervousness around each other and before cameras. Signs of spending a lot of time together (synchronization, inside jokes, going to each others rooms). If other people are in the knows, they betray it with their behaviour (Taeyong’s “he got married (to a bat, you are a bat)”. 

You find a contradiction: Jaedo evidently are best friends, but pretend they are not -> “+” to the third option

Doyoung steals glances at Jaehyun -> “+” to the third option (also the second option)

Doyoung ignores Jaehyun, talking to other members, but Jae is happy nonetheless -> “+” to the third option

Jaedo posts photos from the same location -> “+” to the third option

Doyoung says Jaehyun looks like a prince, like an owner of Lamborghini -> “+” to the third option (also the first option)

Doyoung is jealous towards Jungwoo, protecting Jae’s ass from the latter’s hands -> “+++++” to the third option

And so on. Some arguments in favour of the chosen possible scenario would be weaker, some stronger, some false, but a pattern would appear. 

With Doyoung his avoidance of Jaehyun before cameras is most telling (spring-summer 2018). During NCT videos for fans they spend time with other members and sit on different sides of the table. At the same time: recording diaries show how they sit side by side monitoring Jeno (or was it Jungwoo?), they are beside each other in aeroports, Doyoung clings to Jaehyun in aeroport, when he feels sick (puts his head on Jae’s shoulder for a second and attempts to grab his backpack, Jae waits for him under rain and lets into the car first), Jae introduces new music to Do, when they are in a hotel, they watch horror movies together, wear same clothes, etc.

Autumn of 2018, Jaedo stop pretending they don’t know each other: matching footwear, side by side on group photos, Do posts two old photos with Jae from Rookies era during his sns turn, Do praises Jae’s looks and creates scenarios like the selca one, they beat everybody in word guessing game, etc.


	6. Entry 36-40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Feels good that you are here_  
>  Feels good to love you  
> No other word can describe this feeling  
> It feels so good  
> The moment I share it with you  
> The feeling that will be treasured forever
> 
>  
> 
> "Good" by Daybreak

**Entry 36**

Focus. What person pays attention to says what is in their head and how strong is the stimuli. 

When a new person enters the room and everybody present looks up, that is investigatory reflex, the one who would continue to pay attention to the newcomer is focused on that person for some reason (knows them, afraid of them, interested sexually, etc). 

When a person in a group starts to talk, again, most people present will look at their direction to focus on what is being said and to show that they are listening, soon enough they would transfer their gaze somewhere else as there is no real need in seeing the source of audio information. The person who will look at the one who is talking or glance at them again and again is the one who is most focused on the talker (as a source of important information, out of politeness/hyerarchy, wants to be supportive, is sexually interested, etc). 

Person A is touched by person B. A looks at the body part where they are touched or at B - investigatory reflex. Person A continues to look at where they are being touched, continues to focus on it, - the touch bothers them (unpleasant or pleasant). 

Different people talk one after another in the group. Person A doesn’t comment or look at the one who is talking at the moment. Person B starts to talk and A immidiently focuses on them - A is interested in B. 

Jaehyun is often focused on Doyoung. Even if he doesn’t look at his direction, he will laugh at Do’s jokes nonetheless, indicating that he is indeed listens well. Doyoung is better at paying attention to other members as well, but it is also noticable that he is attuned to Jae too. For example, during one “NCTzens will ilke it too” Do was tired and wasn’t very active, dozing off when other members talked, but perked up and commented, when it was Jae’s turn. Or when Jaedo discusses what move from a dance to use, ignoring Mark, sitting between them. Or during Dance Medley on Idol Radio, when Jaedo seak each other to decide together what move goes at this part of the song, having other members they can turn to for an opinion standing between them.

**Entry 37**

This Entry is dedicated to Jung Yoon Oh.

“Teasing - an intentional provocation accompanied by playful off-record markers that together comment on something relevant to the target”, Dacher Keltner 

1) “Teasing as an expression of acceptance”.

By teasing other people show that there is no need to hide your “faults” from them, they know about them and accept as part of you. Knowledge of weaknesess and accepting despite them reinforces friendship. 

2) “Men rate the experience of teasing insults contained within romantic idiom as being more positive than women”.

3) Couple’s overall satisfaction correlates positively with amount of teasing with redress (smile, elevated tone, exagarration, other signals of playful behaviour). 

4) Teasing is designed first and foremost to invite some kind of affective response (from amusement to anger).

“Notice me, sempai hyung”.

 

**Entry 38**

Like the Moon reflects the Sun’s light, fellow group members, if they know that two people among their ranks are dating, betray their knowledge with their reactions and comments.

For now I speculate that Jaedo came out to NCT 127 right before the 2nd anniversary. It’s logical to assume that all the members were informed as keeping such a secret from some will endanger the trust in the group. Also, we know for sure Jaedo keep to each other during practices (that short video with breaking up apple). To have freedom of acting as a couple, when the manager is not present, requares all members to be in the know.

As for non-127, the older members (Ten, Kun) - maybe, Dreamies (exept Jeno?) - I have doubts. With time - sure, but there is a risk of them accidently blowing the cover. Of course I can’t be sure either way. 

So 127. Johnny, Taeyong, Mark and Jungwoo gave signs of knowing about dating.

JN

\- His inability to look at Jaedo taking Jae’s selca, he even said it aloud;

\- His dream scenario of having a barbeque with Doyoung and Jaehyun and their children (the way the sentence was structured implied so);

\- JN covering up Jaedo a few times during Moving studio or EnNaNa;

\- Jae signalling to JN to take his hand off of Do’s knee (by placing his own hand on WW’s knee, who sat near him, when JN took his hand away, Jae stopped touching WW and kept his both hands on his mic the rest of the programme).

Tae and Mark

\- Jae puts a halloween bat ring on his ring finger, Tae turns to Do and comments “He got married (to a bat (ring’s shape), you are a bat (costume)”, to which Do nervously laughs and Mark makes a dissaproval face and glances at managers;

\- Haechan mentions on TMI how he eats with Taeil and Doyoung in his room (that he shares with Jaehyun), Jae interjects with his description of how exactly Taeil and Do enter the room with big bowls of food. Tae and Mark exchange glances and laugh, Mark laughs lop-sidedly, half-cringing. Definetely not a reaction to the story (it’s not funny), but the lie in it. Do pretends he doesn’t know that the table he and Taeil use to put food on is Jae’s, Johnny supports his lie with a hollow laugh (artificial laugh is lower in tone that the real one, what can be heard in this case).

Woo

\- Do, helping with Woo’s wig asks about Rose’s boyfriend (implying Jae), instead of answering about Jack, supporting the Halloween roleplay, or using the opportunity and flirting with Do (as he would do during winter months of 2018), Woo says that Taeil is his boyfriend (the postman);

\- During a line up before shooting perfomance for The Show (Jaedo as MCs), bored Do playfully raises his hands to Woo’s head, but Woo evades his touch and a second later checks on Jae.

 

**Entry 39**

link - https://twitter.com/dojaearchive/status/1075974185648701440

You see that incline of the head and slight lost of balance, the “aww, you are so cute, I can’t stand you” gesture? Same as the one during first JaeIlDo Vlive (when Jae was showing something outside the room and Do fell back on his chair to look and smile at him). Jae gives him mirth and glee.

 

**Entry 40**

Jaedo used to “share a shoes shelf” and wear same sneakers, but they did it rarely and with big intervals inbetween. Friends with the same foot size saving some money. Starting from Regular-Irregular comeback Jaedo began to show off, albeit discreatly, that they are together. They stand near each other during group photographs and are more affectionate during photographs for NCT’s Night Night (chin on a shoulder, finger in a grasp, standing closer to each other, than to Johnny). And, of course, wear shoes of the same brand and model, but different colour, on the same day. These shoes are endorsment, other members wear them for advertisment purpose during interviews, but only Jaedo match designedly.

Although it took time for me to be persuaded, I now agree that Jaedo don’t stop at shoes and go for couple clothes too. They are not as bold with hoodies and t-shirts and don’t wear them on the same day, but with a short interval enough for shippers to notice. Examples: jeans, peach-blueberry hoodies, shoes.

https://twitter.com/still_coolcat/status/1076888476224634880  
https://twitter.com/Primarydog/status/1072520291065217024  
https://twitter.com/bmon9397/status/1072518042893070336

So, couply things. Why?

1) Fitting in

People tend to follow conformity - the act of matching attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors to group norms. For example, dressing up for work in style similar to one’s colleagues. 

Couples, often subconciously, do the same. People want to fit in with the person they are dating. Harmonious dressing generally occurs about six months into a relationship. 

2) Coping the habits/interests of the partner

Partners, again subconciously, start to copy what the other is doing, like learn the type of food they cook, watch sport games of their preference, wear clothes of same brands.

3) Having similar taste to begin with

People are instinctively drawn to people who remind them of themselves. 

“We are drawn to those we have the most in common with, and we tend to have the most successful long-term relationships with those we are most similar to,” Dr. Wyatt Fisher. It’s because physical similarities are brought on by genetic similarities and hint at a healhy combination of genes.

“In a 2010 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers morphed images of participants’ faces to create faces of strangers. When the unknowing participants were asked to rate the attractiveness of their own morphed face alongside the other random faces, they preferred the faces of those who had their own features. We tend to perceive those with a similar face to our own as a better, more trustworthy person, which may explain why we want to date them.”  
Source - https://www.medicaldaily.com/why-couples-start-look-and-act-alike-doppelganger-dating-404563

4) Couples of Korea

In South Korea matching couple outfits is a very popular style among young people. It’s called 커플룩 (kou-peul look). The reasons behind are: the glorification of young love, the longing for relationship stability, and a fixation on appearances.

There is a desire to show off one’s partner, to stress that you yourself are in a relationship. “We can show off that we are a couple, not one of those lonely singles” and “koreans think dressing alike is viewed as a way to show how much the couples love each other”.  
Source - https://qz.com/909115/in-south-korea-couple-look-is-a-fashionable-way-to-tell-the-world-that-youre-in-love/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Merry Christmas, everybody.


	7. Entry 41-45

**Entry 41**

Zero personal space.

Have you noticed how Jaehyun often freezes, when Doyoung touches him, when they are in public? That time, when Do put both of his locked hands on Jae’s right shoulder (NCT was photographed in front of a coffee-shop) is a good example. Jaehyun doesn’t react, doesn’t turn his head, eyes, doesn’t acknowledge that another person is in contact with him. “I’m so unnaffected, there is really nothing to see here!”. Yeah, but that’s exactly what catches my attention, because normally people react if their brain is not preoccupied with something else. Even a slight movement will do. 

Jae does it to demonstrate that he doesn’t distinguish Do from other members, but he can do it, because he is very comfortable with letting Do into his personal space. For example, Yuta is not comfortable with all the members. He often shoves their hands off his shoulder or asks them to take their hands away, tapping with his fingers. Even WW. (here is how it looks like, 00:19) It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the members, on the contrary, he wants all the love from them, it’s just hard for him to let his guard like that down. Also remember how Jungwoo jumped, when a staff member touched him during Yearbook 2018 photoshoot. Good example of how body reacts involuntary.

Jaehyun both seeks closeness with Doyoung on his own and let’s him approach extremely close without moving away.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/61d7435ecb335f93e9175e6c30b1e333/tumblr_inline_pl2ppdWq1z1sf0slg_1280.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/12db8e698f2220f0d82bff026224a6f5/tumblr_inline_pl2plhppXE1sf0slg_1280.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/c8bd58934f2c80d46dbe564da0167e91/tumblr_inline_pl2phjCUbI1sf0slg_1280.jpg

Maybe Jaehyun just has very small personal space and readily lets people in? He doesn’t. He keeps distance between his body and a not very familiar person (Leeteuk) during hugs. He also doesn’t stay still, when other members approach him. For example, Jungwoo. Notice how Jae clasps his hand over Woo’s several times. It’s not out of affection, it’s half-movement to unlock the hands. He can’t, Woo has the penalty rights, so Jae tags his collar and fixes his clothes to redirect agitation. Compare him with Taeyong, whose arms are relaxed on his sides. Jungwoo tries to catch Jae’s ear with his lips, so Jae moves his head to avoid the molesting. Should I check Jaewoo tag and see if shippers noticed it? Haha.

Jaehyun doesn’t react to Doyoung, doesn’t step away even a bit, because Doyoung is welcomed in his personal space, he is deemed completely safe and trustworthy. Important nuance is that Jae lets Do into his personal space, when he is not prepared (like he would during posing for a group photo/selca), when he should be alerted (wait, who is this so close to me? I need to judge how much I trust them), but he is not. 

**Entry 42**

On stage and off stage.

As shippers want daily influx of moments with their chosen ship to feed their fire, oftentimes they are hyped even over small things. Because of this the real telling moments, that can be used as arguments in favour of a couple being real, are overshadowed. How can you believe shippers of one ship over shippers of other ship, when the shipped “couples” do the same stuff? How one is different from another? All shippers are delusional.

For example. 

Jaehyun, singing his part, passes Doyoung and touches him briefly on his waist. So what? The same Jaehyun slaps Mark’s butt and the same Doyoung pinches Taeyong’s butt, also on the go, during concerts. A slight touch VS a slap? JaeMark is more real! Such a rare ship, by the way, I wonder why.

Jaehyun and Doyoung bow to the audience, hand in hand. So what? The same goes for Doyoung and Taeyong, Doyoung and Yuta. Same concert.

Taeyong and Doyoung chase each other and take selca on stage; Taeyong, singing, puts his finger on Jaehyun’s lips; Yuta hugs tightly Doyoung; Yuta hugs Taeyong from behind, also tightly, - all corresponding shippers are happy in their corners of the social platforms. 

NCT members are friends to each other, bonded over time, so naturally they demonstrate signs of affection, especially during happy times. But there are other times, during interviews, programmes and lives, when everybody is more calm and it is possible to compare members’ behaviour towards each other and find out who is more important to whom. 

Jaehyun and Taeyong are friends? They are. However when both Tae and Do do the same thing (hand size comparison with Johnny) Jae shows different level of attention: he is very interested in Do’s results and not really in Tae’s. When Tae sits between Jae’s legs, the latter is calm and is not bothered. When Do sits between his legs, Jae is restless - he chews on his lip, he shifts, he puts his hand on Do’s shoulder, glances at him regullary. During Star road and traditional Korean games, Jae sticks to Do and not to Tae, although all three of them are in the same team. 

Johnny and Doyoung are friends? They are. JN also is a major fanboy, who looks fondly and praises Do a lot. Even so, when there is a relay of wishes for New Year (Star road), Doyoung barely acknowledges Johnny’s nice words to him, not throwing a glance at his direction, thanking curtly. Same Doyoung a second later showers Jaehyun with words of support, “the way you are is enough”, requires a pause to collect himself and changes his voice to a very soft one, insist he “means it” and holds Jae’s hand under the table. 

Jaehyun and Mark are friends? They are. However it’s “Doyoung’s room” in Jae’s head. And when Jae is asked to name the second most favourite person and he names Mark, Jae doesn’t look at Mark and is late with answering Mark’s high five (because Jae is distracted by his lying and thought of Doyoung being the first most favourite). 

Yuta and Doyoung are friends? Yes, and Doyoung ruffles Yuta’s hair and lays his head on his shoulder and supports him with words of praise. Still, Yuta jumps a little bit, when Doyoung touches him unexpectedly, while Jaehyun doesn’t notice Do entering his intimate zone, always welcoming his presence. 

Yuta and Jaehyun are friends? Of course. But Yuta rides another van and Jaehyun asks Doyoung if he wants to take back or front seat, after he already opened the front door for himself. And it’s Doyoung he tickles and separates roughly from the chain, not Yuta, in the game of radish pulling.

Taeyong and Doyoung are friends? They are besties. Practically married. Taeyong draws Doyoung’s portrait with attention to details: with the bunny incisors, and the thin neck, and the adam apple, and even the scar on the nape. But when there is a choice to whom to give the anniversary medal, Jae or Tae, Do chooses Jae. And when Doyoung wants to share a laugh, he turns to Jaehyun, even if they sit far away from each other. 

Jaedo and Taeil? Taeil thirdwheels (JaeIlDo second summer Vlive (June 2018) and Timeless Vlive (January 2018)). Jaedo and Johnny? Johnny is forgotten. (EnNaNa) Jaedo and Mark? Mark is ignored (Hello, councelor Vlive). Jaedo and Taeyong? Him sitting inbetween doesn’t help, Jaehyun still pays more attention to the other hyung (Helloween candy Vlive). Jaedo and Yuta? He doesn’t follow why Doyoung is laughing all of a sudden (MCountdown special MC Vlive). Jaedo and Jungwoo? Phone is a good excuse for Jae to take his arm off Woo’s shoulder and have a blissfull moment of hugging only the hyung. 

**Entry 43**

Jaehyun dropping honorifics.

In case somebody doesn’t know, “donsaeng” - younger sister/brother, “hyung” - older brother (used only by males). 

As is the case with other asian languages and age hierarchy, in Korean older people can address younger by their name only, younger must use a honorific. Honorifics serve as signifiers that remind each person where they stand in the society. Therefore, Doyoung can call Jaehyun “Jaehyun/Yoon Oh”, Jaehyun should use “Doyoung-hyung/hyung” as he is one year younger. 

In the past younger siblings and younger close friends could never call an older sibling/friend by first name. Nowadays the rules are less strict, globalisation and all that, so some friends close in age may drop “hyung”, but permission must be granted, othervise it is very rude. If I’m not mistaken, Jisung insist on dropping them.

During one of ShowChamp backstages producers asked Jaehyun to record a message to Doyoung, calling him by name only. Jae was very flustered and needed several attempts to gather courage. The rule is this deeply rooted. Also Doyoung being uncomfortable with Kun, who used to use polite language with him despite them being the same age. Doyoung going into panic and googling a singer’s age, when he virtually addressed him with “hyung”, asking for collaboration.

I don’t know of any case, when Jaehyun addressed Doyoung without a honorific, but he does forget about it from time to time, when he mentions Do in his speech. 

For example, in one of the debut era interview, when Jaehyun was listing the members who sing “Without you” (Doyoung reacted with disbelief at the omission). And a fresh example - Jae filming Do taking selca and also calling him “Doyoung”. While Yuta was “Yuta-hyung”. 

Jaehyun is a polite person, so his proclivity to forgetting about honorifics, when it comes to Doyoung, indicates his wish to overcome this hierarchial barrier and be closer and more intimate. 

Video compilation - https://twitter.com/03tnd30/status/1093459574818918401

**Entry 44**

Let’s talk ownership.

Doyoung is known for his affectionate side. He hugs, holds hands, rests his head on shoulders, pretends to bite heads off and squishes. 

https://66.media.tumblr.com/96dd715b79afc748f2a64069de12155e/tumblr_inline_pmrbr9znTa1sf0slg_540.gif  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/2f2bb87505abb919ee24bbeecae1631d/tumblr_inline_pmrbt8Hq0D1sf0slg_400.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/a19c8233b251f29c11993cf8f5143a08/tumblr_inline_pmrbr529ja1sf0slg_1280.jpg

Doyoung’s way of showing off bond is to hug tightly, embrace. You look at pictures and you feel warmth. On group pictures he is not as wild, of course. He either keeps hands to himself, shows peace signs, half-hugs or puts a loose hand on the shoulder of the member sitting in front.

And then we have this recent Jaedo development.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/56f1b9ecd23d23b18928dcb5b402135b/tumblr_inline_pmrcajfrBD1sf0slg_1280.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/3b6f1314419dbd72958663752e24c12c/tumblr_inline_pmrceep5UP1sf0slg_500.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/759d09e194ee2a07ea45b00e3a922e4c/tumblr_inline_pmrco8HQQ91sf0slg_400.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/4b353a0b9e25f9446aa1c68265491114/tumblr_inline_pmrcq4dvkH1sf0slg_400.jpg

These are not loose grips and not on the ball of the shoulder. 

Figuratevily and literally (on two pictures) Doyoung “pins Jaehyun down” with his weight. And the latter is perfectly OK with this show of dominance. 

And remember that in the past it was different. Same affectionate Doyoung, snuggling to the favourite donsaeng (and Doyoung was pretty upfront about his fave during twitter answers to fans).

https://66.media.tumblr.com/1353147a842fb0a002171c2459a04b90/tumblr_inline_pmrdt8f5JT1sf0slg_1280.jpg

Maybe it’s because Jaedo hate each other now…  
Or maybe Doyoung views Jaehyun differently than his other favourites. 

**Entry 45**

Exploding sexiness.

People dress for other people. The ever changing culture dictates what is appropriate and what degree of naked skin is arousing. In one societies women walk bare chested, in others can’t leave home without gloves and hats. Men in one part of the world hunt naked, in another they have to go to work in full suits despite the scorching Sun. A child, growing up, absorbs these norms and integrates in her worldview. Once the brain learns the calibration, it works on autopilot, without informing Ego.

Experiments demonstrate that women during their ovulation (eggs leaving ovaries, i.e. fertile time window) dress up more daringly and sexy. Women themselves don’t know when their ovulation occurs, but their brains do, afterall the brain is affected by all the hormones produced during the cycle. 

Research also shows that (heterosexual) men in presence of women expand their vocabulary, start to use many more words and rare synonims, than they do talking to other men. This way men demonstrate to potential partners how smart they are, what good brains they have. 

The above examples are given to illustrate that on many levels flirtation is subconcious. The brain decides how to better dress up, what to say, what tone of voice to use, what posture to make. To bat eyelashes or not to bat?

This whole prelude leads to the topic of Doyoung’s exposed collarbones. 

Doyoung is known as the “church oppa” (christened by Jaehyun himself). He used to wear berets, lots of layers and think that tight trousers are not for men (in words during interview, if not in practice in everyday life). He is normally lanky, a bit awkward and sharp in his movements. The elegance emerges only when he slows down. So what magic turns him into this seductive creature?

https://66.media.tumblr.com/8be21d22af64f7b40f8557f65a8c82b2/tumblr_inline_pmusr84Wdm1sf0slg_1280.jpg  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/f2614deac36aea9f8f6fc782f0834413/tumblr_inline_pmut3tsTir1sf0slg_1280.jpg

Explosion of sexiness ©:   
https://twitter.com/angeldotae_/status/1082942815544344576  
https://twitter.com/jaehyunbom__/status/1083316955677810688

Why the unbutonned shirts and wide collars? As I said, people dress to impress other people. So who is the target? Fans? Afterall they watch EnNaNa (Do’s famous black hoodie with exposed clavicles) and were behind the Idol Radio studio glass, right. However, this is “the boyfriend selca” shot specially and purposefully for the fans…

https://66.media.tumblr.com/4295e906ac921bcfe4f2885454517bcf/tumblr_inline_pmuu3tMaOy1sf0slg_1280.jpg

Different from the usual kawaii culture, 

https://66.media.tumblr.com/65dd4bc5058ba899d1c47a0f89f860c5/tumblr_inline_pmuuhdQdxb1sf0slg_540.jpg

but nowhere near this “boyfriend look”.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/baeaae74f3f518183e142f2609c7912c/tumblr_inline_pmuumadQFX1sf0slg_500.gif

Naturally, Doyoung wears wide collar shirts from time to time and he did in the past too. Confidence and growing into one own sexuality comes gradually, still I don’t see Doyoung being this sexy off stage as a norm, he is not Ten, who always puts on a show.

 

**Bonus**

_Q: In your opinion between DoJae who's more Dominant/submissive in the relationship?_

Doyoung is more dominant, Jaehyun is more submissive, Doyoung is the leader, Jaehyun is the follower, but they are equal and exchange roles, depending on the type of situation.

Let’s talk Doyoung’s duality and idol image. Idol Doyoung is cute and feisty: mochi-cheeks, large sweaters, silly awkward dances, gummy smile, salty insults. Sunshine and rainbows with a bit of hale. And yet Yuta calls him “dried fruit” and all the members give him low scores on positiveness, goofiness/airheadedness and romantism. He is the smart, the reliable and the righteous one in the group. You can often see him conversing with the staff before the shoots, sorting out the instructions, his planner is better than that of their manager, Taeyong comes to him for his opinion on his dance and lyrics, he thinks about NCT’s music and the direction it should take, he comes to the managers with propositions like song covers and video-blogs. He doesn’t make mistakes as an MC, all his elders praise him and his professionalism. Gongmyun says he sometimes feels like the younger brother. Doyoung has sensitive, high-strung nervous system, but he likes to be in control, he is a planner and he is quite ambitious, wanting to be a role model singer, one who would be recognised instantly, and to build an arts school with improved curriculum. The fact that he doesn’t have role models himself and that he continued to pursue singing without his parents’ support in the beginning says a lot. Jaehyun says that Doyoung was quite something during the trainee days, fasting on raisings and improving dancing relentlessly. He is his own producer. Teasing aside, all Doyoung’s hyungs in NCT, sans Taeil, look up to him. He was chosen as “the oldest” by majority.

Jaehyun is also one of the least airheaded members, he is strong-willed, when it comes to discipiline and commitment, he has calm steady personality, but he has more fears as well. Plus he is agreeable. Jaehyun’s looks has been praised since school, the whole neighbourhood knew him as “that exeptionally handsome one”, he is the main visual in NCT, and yet he is still insecure and shy. When his hyungs “fought” during a prank he cried instead of getting angry and pulling them apart, he can’t stop Jungwoo’s flirtation. Jaehyun needs to have outside praise to boost his confidence. He is very capable, he knows it rationally, it doesn’t kill the worm of doubt. Only outside support and personal achievements help. 

Therefore Doyoung is the leader, Jaehyun is the follower, natural roles for them. At the same time, Jaehyun is stronger physically and is more steady mentally, so he can be a protector and a supporter as well, be a harbour. Like that time, when Doyoung was sick in an aeroport. Jaehyun plays good vice, helping Doyoung with organising things. They both are smart and contemplating, so they can discuss and exchange opinions and views as well. 

As for submissiveness, although Jaehyun will argue with Doyoung and tease him, he likes the role of donsaeng, to be reassured and praised. Looks are deceiving, Doyoung is the knight on a white horse here.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/984875bd43068afcb86ada78fd6062ab/tumblr_inline_plmrkbup381sf0slg_250.gif  
https://66.media.tumblr.com/b73e44d720c7b57a973b5defe0ca91b2/tumblr_inline_plmrockmCF1sf0slg_250.gif


	8. Entry 46-50

**Entry 46**

Being rough with each other. 

Jaehyun is Doyoung’s favourite donsaeng, but he is not one of Do’s “children”. Although Doyoung praises Jaehyun a lot, he can be “rude” as well: slap in punishment, shove out of the way unceremoniously, grab with force, manhandle. Most importantly, he doesn’t make any redressing gestures/signals afterwards, like he does with Taeyong or Johnny (”I’m kidding”, “I’m playing”, “sorry, I had to”). It’s not required, Jaehyun is never offended. And because Doyoung is sure he won’t, a thought to be gentlier doesn’t cross his mind, he has right to be rough. 

WinWin is the same age as Jaehyun, but Doyoung is always gentle with him. He is careful with Yuta, although Doyoung likes to grab him, he does it with restrain, without real force (games being exeption). 

Works the other way around. During the radish pulling game Jaehyun went all out, tickling Doyoung and using so much force to desentangle him from Yuta, that Doyoung complained (while still laughing). Jaehyun gives strong high fives to Doyoung too, sometimes painful (”oh my god” in Touch explanation).

And again, this behaviour is not indication they are boyfriends, Kun grabs and tags closer to himself Ten unceremoniously too, but it is different from Do’s attitude to other members, it does show how close Jaedo are, despite not being openly affectionate on public. 

**Entry 47**

Doyoung affected by Jaehyun’s flirtation.

Doyoung is actually shy and it is not hard to embarass him, however he comes up with funny retorts quickly and attempts to flirt for humour. 

\- Yuta: Your bandana really suits you.

Doyoung: Oooh… I can see noone but you.

(MV commentary, Limitless)

\- Doyoung: I still like Taeyong-hyung. If Taeyong-hyung could bring only one peson with him to a deserted island, it would be me. 

Taeyong: Why?

Doyoung: Because it’s me. There is a saying “In the end it’s you”. In the end, it’s Doyoung.

(NCT life in Osaka)

\- Johnny: Why am I only saying “Doyoung”?

Doyoung: Do you like me?

(시즈니Says Vlive)

Despite all of Doyoung’s MC skills, one Jung Jaehyun manages to make him lose his game:

“Kim Dongyoung, let’s get married-nim”, “Doyoung-shi, I will hug you”, “come to my room more often” and other similar phrases on EnNaNa were answered with “Ehh” and nervous laugh. Doyoung is also flustered, when Jaehyun sends him hand-hearts (0:13) or smiles at him “without a reason”. Or how Jaehyun can produce a nervous cackle from Doyoung by slight move of his lips (1:52).

https://twitter.com/urijaedo/status/1096606332621225985  
https://twitter.com/dojaeloops/status/1055465655871238145  
https://www.vlive.tv/video/72440

**Entry 48**

Jaehyun being enamored. 

You know him well - the heart-eyes, open mouth, dopy smile Jaehyun. 

https://66.media.tumblr.com/63a1b2ce78fcd83faab1d41353152868/tumblr_inline_pngunacNxi1sf0slg_1280.jpg

Jaehyun is so entranced with Doyoung’s everything, that often he doesn’t want to avert his eyes from talking Doyoung even for a second, moving his head to continue looking, while changing his position, taking out his phone or turning on the chair. 

https://66.media.tumblr.com/8548abc597aeca0bf881a0ae4f371f76/tumblr_inline_pjdped6lxK1sf0slg_1280.jpg

People look longer at the faces they find attractive. On average, people prefer eye contact of 2-5 seconds long and don’t like stares that surpass 9 seconds. Long stare signals interest, it is perceived as a threat and make us feel uneasy. During JaeIlDo 1st Vlive, Jaehyun once stared for 16 seconds non-stop. Yes, I counted. 

I made a comparison with links to gifs and screenshots from EnNaNa from different years to show the change in Jaehyun's level of focus on Doyoung. There are too many links to copy paste here, so go to   
my tumblr

https://dojae-huh.tumblr.com/post/183041833872/entry-48

 

**Entry 49**

Doyoung ordering Jaehyun to wave/show heart, peace signs to the fans. 

It’s a small habit, but what’s interesting is that he never stopped, even when Jae and Do kept apart after the confession.

Show Champion NCT-U (2:15) - 2016 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tYYx90n4rc

Limitless room ep 1 (0:24) - 2017 - https://www.vlive.tv/video/20773?channelCode=DEE409

Mexico K-con, Finale self-camera (1:05) - 2017 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX_yw1VwmsE

Elite photoshoot (0:56) - 2018 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGYRk9uPubU

 

**Entry 50**

Doyoung is a very affectionate person. He shows his love and support for the members verbally and physically. 

Verbally: he praises looks, song-writing skills, cuteness, wit, stamina, etc.

Physically: he bear hugs, rest his head on shoulders, ruffles hair, wipes mouths, lets other “molest” him or hang from him, pats backs, hold hands, kisses hands, pats butts, dance silly dances, etc.

Doyoung shows his affection to Jaehyun verbally. He praises his face, skin, abs, bowling skills. But Doyoung doesn’t show his affection physically. He used to during Rookies times, but not in 2017-2018. He does small stuff like pats and rubs, hand on shoulder, but he doesn’t bear hug or rest his head on Jae’s shoulder. 

Doyoung gives the members what they need. For example, he let WinWin hang off of him, but didn’t attack him like Yuta or Taeil in return. He gave WinWin the choice. Same with Yuta. Yuta doesn’t like to be touched usually, so Doyoung is careful arounf him. And yet, Doyoung laid his head on their shoulders when he felt like it.

So why Jaehyun is an exeption? Doyoung can treat Jaehyun roughly - shake him, grab him, repeatedly slap his butt - but he is not tender with him, no bear hugs, no head on shoulders, no hand holding. It’s strange, afterall they are very close friends.

Is it because Jaehyun doesn’t like being touched very much and Doyoung respects that? 

But that’s not true. 

\- Hyung, I will give you a hug.

\- Hyung, come to my room more often.

\- Hyung, your hands are shaking.

\- JH: I like this photoshoot. DY: It’s because I rest my head on your shoulder, isn’t it?

Jaehyun seeks out the touch himself, when it comes to Doyoung and never minds the occasional rough treatment. When they stand side by side, even if there is space, they often touch with their shoulders, letting each other into their personal space.

Exeptions happen when Doyoung doesn’t think he is being filmed (ear massage), does the movement on impulse, without thinking (attempt to take off Jae’s coat during Moving studio, Snoopy T-shirt incident) or is sick and has a poor control over his actions (aeroport, Do rested his head for a second on Jae’s shoulder and tried to grab his backpack for support). 

Conclusion: Doyoung doesn’t want to attract attention to Jaedo. He is afraid to be carried away, show PDA. There is something special about his relationship with Jaehyun that he wants to hide.

P.S. Doyoung could refrain from physical affection because Jaehyun is in love with him, but he himself doesn’t feel the same. However, with this scenario he should refrain from verbal praise as well. Praise singing skills - yes, looks, body - no. He can agree if asked, but not bring it up and stress it out on his own. Doyoung is attentive to the feelings of others, it’s not in his nature to be so cruel or thick skulled.

And Doyoung started his “Jaehyun is a Prince” propaganda with Regular-Irregular promotion.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you missed it at the beginning, here is my tumblr - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dojae-huh ! Come, let's play ~~


End file.
